This will work, This will work, This will work...

This mornings u/s & bw was another success. My E2 level is up to 895 (350 on Fri) and my follies are about 13mm. I go back in on Tuesday and at that time should find out when my retrieval will be. We are still on track for Thurs or Friday.

After such an easy time with the meds for the past few weeks I knew it was only a matter of time until I started feeling the effects and the time has come. I am achy all over, I have a dull, annoying headache that constantly travels with me, my ovaries hurt, I'm bloated, a little nauseous, I can cry at the drop of a hat, and the shots are getting tougher every night. We honestly have nowhere to put them that isn't bruised and the shots are getting more and more painful. It feels like a bee is stinging me on the inside when the medicine goes in. I'm not trying to be a downer and complain, just had to give a true account of what IVF feels like. I feel so lucky to have had such an easy time so far, the Lupron gave me no side effects and the stims have been somewhat easy so far. I knew I couldn't fly through it all with no discomfort. Only 2 or 3 more nights of the stims and then we are on to the next phase. Getting so close!

I'm trying to keep my mental attitude in a good place. The negative thoughts constantly creep in and all I can do is continually try to push them out and replace them with positive ones...aka, "this will work, this will work, this will work." I'll let you know how it's working!

Movie Making

Okay so here is a video we took the other night of us doing our evening injections. My best friend Mary was kind enough to come over and film for us with her precious little girl. If there is a baby in the room you can bet that I am holding it, therefore ironically there is a baby in our IVF video...albeit it a very sweet one! The video is kind of lengthy, the commentary is awful and the bleeding in the end is really gross so sorry if it is offensive to anyone. Just the life of an IVFer!



On another note, our appt. yesterday went well and everything is moving along nicely. J went with me and while I am laying on the table, feet in stirrups, with the RE doing the ultrasound, looking at my ovaries this is how the conversation goes...

J-"so do the eggs look athletic?"
RE- "Oh yes, some look athletic, but others look like couch potatoes."
J- "You can just leave the couch potatoes in there when you retrieve them and only take out the athletic looking ones."

Already choosing favorites and they aren't even embryos yet. I think he has forgotten that his spermies are going to contribute to our children's' athleticism just as much as my eggs!

Anyway, my follicles are now about 8mm and my estrogen went up to 350 (from 90 at the last appt). Our next stim check is tomorrow morning. Looks like we are still on track for a Thurs or Fri retrieval.

Beautiful Ovaries & A TON of needles

According to my RE my ovaries are beautiful and I should be very proud of them. Haha, I had to laugh. I have been proud of a lot of things before but I never thought I would be proud of my ovaries. My cycle is going well so far and my eggs are growing right along. I have about 9-10 on each side that are measuring at about 4-5mm. They grow about 2mm/day and they all need to get to 17-18mm before the retrieval. So, about 6 more days of stimming. I will go in on Fri, Sun, & Mon for monitoring.

So far today I have 24 needles poked into me. 3 shots at home, 1 blood draw and about 20 needles from accupuncture. Wow, who would have thought that was even possible.

3 A Days

Today is our 3rd day of our 3 injections a day. We are still doing the Lupron in the am and we have now added 2 stimulating injections in the evening. The Stims make my ovaries produce copius amounts of eggs. As long as I am on the Stims the eggs will grow bigger and bigger until it is time to remove them. Starting tomorrow I go to the RE for daily blood draws and ultrasounds. They will be checking my Estrogen level daily to make sure it is increasing with my egg production and they will be measuring each egg via ultrasound to make sure they are growing. Once they are all between 15-18mm we will remove them.

The shots are tough. They hurt and the medicine burns when being injected. Since they are all going into my stomach it's starting to be hard to find new places to poke that aren't already bruised and sore. We have about 8 more days of these which is 24 more shots. Where are they going to go? I think it's going to get tougher as we go due to the soreness of my tummy.

I've still been feeling pretty good physically but today I'm feeling very emotional. Until this point I haven't let myself get too emotional during the process but I'm beginning to feel terrified that this isn't going to work. I don't know if I can handle doing it again. I want this so bad, the disappointment of a negative result could be completely devastating to both J & me. We both just want me to be pregnant so bad and if we have to do it again, just the waiting alone would be excruciating. I really am trying hard to be uber positive about it all but I have moments when I can't help but wonder and I know the mass amount of hormones I'm pumping into my body aren't helping with my emotions.

We did film our 1st shots on Sunday evening so I'll post that video soon. I'm really looking forward to my appt tomorrow so I can get an idea of what's going on with my ovaries. I'll post an update tomorrow with my exciting ovary news...lol!

I'm Supressed

I had my 1st b/w & ultrasound appointment today. They were checking to make sure my ovaries were suppressed & my estrogen level was low. Both looked great and I'm ready to start stims. This may be TMI for some of you but, I have to wait for my period to start before I can start the stim injections. On Wednesday I took my last BCP which I was thrilled about and I should start my cycle by tomorrow. Although, sometimes the Lupron can delay your cycle by a couple of days. I'm really hoping that tomorrow I wake up with it so I can start stims on Sunday as planned. If it doesn't rear it's ugly head until Sunday then we will have to wait until Monday to start which isn't a big deal but I'm ready to move onto the next step, even if it does involve double the needles. Once we start, we should only be doing the stim injections for about 10 days and then we'll get all of the eggs out of me and make our little embies! So again, more waiting.

Sandy Toes & Salty Kisses

We spent a nice, long weekend at Cannon Beach with my family over the weekend. We had a great time and all of the dogs thought they had gone to doggy heaven. They ran on the beach, chased the seagulls and barked at the waves. My Grandpa met us for a night as well and it was nice to spend some time away from the city, especially during the heat wave we had in Seattle over the weekend.

I'm on day 5 of Lupron and feeling pretty good. It's making me feel a little down and tired but nothing I can't power through. I get to quit taking the BCP on Wed and I'm really excited to be done with that. I honestly think it has contributed to me having to pull out my fat pants. I know it's only going to get worse but it really messes with my appetite.

Only about 3 weeks until we transfer the embryos back in but before that happens we have about 35 more injections. So far they haven't been that bad but I'll let you know how I feel about it next week when we are doing 3/day.

Our next appt is on Friday for b/w and an ultrasound. More then...

The Lupron is making me loopy!

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Get your own

The 1st injection is done! Woohoo, we are making progress. The injection wasn't bad at all and so far I thankfully have no side effects. We will continue the Lupron injections (that suppress my ovaries along with the BCP) and we will add in the 2 stimulating injections next Sunday the 24th. So, until then were just doing 1 injection per day. Jimmy is doing a great job poking me as quickly and painlessly as possible. Here are a few pics of our 1st injection on Thursday. Please ignore the yucky scar in my belly button from the surgeries.

I'm a little worried!

Maybe this whole baby thing isn't such a good idea after all! I found this site online where you can submit your pictures and find out what your future baby will look like. Let's just say, I hope this is is WAY off! J & I have been laughing about it all morning thinking maybe we should reconsider :-). Take a look...http://makemebabies.com/viewbaby.php?bid=2517410

We're not in Seattle anymore!

And Chicago weather is a lot crazier. A big storm that included 3 tornadoes came barreling down the yellow brick road (or maybe it was the Chicago River) last night and I was wishing I could click my ruby red heels and end up back in sunny Seattle! I have never heard thunder so loud or seen so much lightning. The sky was lit up for hours and the thunder sounded like bombs. The storm sirens were going off in the city and both Wrigley Field and O'Hare were evacuated. I am on the 17th floor of our hotel so I had a great view. This was a pic taken last night.

I haven't seen much of the city because we are in training everyday from 7:30 to 5 and then we have group dinners until about 8. By then I'm beat and can't wait to get in my room and relax. I miss my hubby and my dogs and I can't wait to get home on Friday. I'm not very good at being gone alone. Only about 1 more week until our 1st injection though so I'm glad I don't have much time to sit around and think about what's ahead.